


Lullabies Will Help, I Promise

by lifegivingwords



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: And harry loves it, Eggsy will be a great dad, Fix-It, Harry Lives, M/M, eventually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-19 05:26:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3598059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifegivingwords/pseuds/lifegivingwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eggsy is on the edge of losing it. With some help from Merlin, and Daisy, he finds himself again. Just in time for Harry to walk back into his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lullabies Will Help, I Promise

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever work so please be kind :-). I hope you enjoy!

“This isn’t that kind of movie.”

No, this isn’t a movie. This is real. Painful. Life. People are ripped from loving arms with well-placed bullets, leaving pain and destruction behind. Eggsy still doesn’t remember all of his actions during his battle with Valentine and Gazelle. What he does remember is the aching hole in his heart where a certain gentleman once lived. He took immense pleasure in throwing Valentine’s cold words back in the megalomaniac’s face as he lay choking on his own vomit and blood.

“This ain’t that kind of movie bruv.”

ooOoo

Six months after that fateful mission finds Eggsy dealing with a maelstrom of grief and joy. As a Kingsman he has the opportunity to provide a new life for his mum and Daisy while erasing Dean from all aspects of their lives. Occupying Harry’s empty house, his mum is more relaxed and smiles and laughs the way she did when her husband was alive. Sometimes, when he is home between missions, Eggsy comes up behind her and wraps her in his arms and refuses to let go for long, silent minutes. This is the woman who has suffered the same kind of loss and still managed to go on living day after day. He never realized just how hard that was for her. Eggsy knows he has a great deal to be thankful for: his mum, Daisy, JB, Rox, and even Merlin. However, telling his heart that he should be happy simply doesn’t work.

“Grow up, bruv. It ain’t like ‘Arry was your boyfriend, “ he tells himself quietly as he forces himself to sleep. Staring up at the ceiling after putting Daisy to bed, Eggsy can’t help but dwell on the what might have been’s. Harry was his savior, his friend, and a mentor. But he was so much more. He encouraged Eggsy in a way no one had, and he was _interested_ in what Eggsy had to say. As Eggsy got farther along in his Kingsman training it became more and more difficult to separate his less than noble feelings for Harry from his professional interactions with the man.

It came to him suddenly one afternoon that he loved Harry. Not a simply puppy love, not love driven by lust either. He simply loved being around Harry, loved his mannerisms, his bloody posh ways of living, everything. The realization blindsided Eggsy and he was scared of putting his feelings out in the open for fear of rejection. _Ah, hindsight_. If only Eggsy had dug up the courage before Harry left. Now Eggsy was left with nothing but nightmares and wishful thinking.

Dreams filled with images of harry getting shot play in his head constantly with a million different endings. None of them include Harry lying on the ground with blood pooled under his head.

Merlin knows that Eggsy is balancing on the razor edge of an abyss that longs to swallow him whole. The only thing tethering him to this world is Daisy and the missions. Missions where Eggsy can be the good guy, the savior, and the mentor. All things Harry encouraged him to be. It doesn’t escape Merlin’s notice that Eggsy has begun to ignore Kingsman protocol and places himself in unnecessarily dangerous positions during almost every mission. Situations such as the one currently happening.

ooOoo

“Shit.” Eggsy feels the bullet pound into his back, barely missing his skin before hitting the tailored suit.

“Take a right Galahad. Lancelot is at the end of the corridor with backup. Keep going, do _not_ turn around and engage.”

“Merlin, I can ‘it a few more, promise. Let me take another shot.”

“ _Eggsy_. Your orders are to rendezvous with Lancelot and then get the hell out of that shit-storm.”

Eggsy slides around the corner and sees Rox standing at the end of the dark corridor with her gun raised and ready. Through the open hangar door behind her Eggsy can see the tail end of a helicopter waiting to carry them to safety.

“All right there, love?”

“Shut up Galahad. I’ve been waiting on you. I’ve got a date and you’re going to make me late.” Rox is always no nonsense with a dash of spice on missions. _At least she keeps things interesting_ , he thinks.

Eggsy hears Merlin cough through his earpiece as Roxy slyly grins. _Aha! I knew something was up between them_. Coming to an abrupt stop, Eggsy grabs his side and pants a little.

“I’m ‘ere. Let’s get goin’, ya?” She grabs his arm and jogs to the doorway.

Boarding the helicopter Eggsy slumps back against the seat and closes his eyes. He knows he pushed it too close this time. Hanging around after the mark is dead is not exactly the brightest thing he’s ever done, but hey. The creep was a baby dealer from the black market. Eggsy had to make sure his operation wouldn’t continue. Though he has good intentions he knows there will be a punishment in his near future.

Without an acting Arthur, Kingsman was under the iron fist of the great Scot Merlin. Of course Merlin was busy overseeing the clean up from the exploding heads so the agents had free reign, to a certain extent. However, with Merlin observing exactly what Eggsy did, yeah, that free reign just turned into a steel collar.

“Galahad. I expect to see you in my office _immediately._ ”

“Fuck.” Roxy smirked as Eggsy burrowed into the seat and closed his eyes.

ooOoo

Entering Merlin’s office felt like stepping into a modern day Star Trek. Buttons and gadgets were strictly organized and a multitude of screens covered the desktop. Sitting behind these screens was a tired face glaring daggers into Eggsy as he stepped into the room.

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you it is polite to knock first?”

Eggsy shrugs as his heart twists painfully. _Harry_.

“You know me, bruv. Still clingin’ to that lit’l bit of rough.”

He moves farther into the room and takes a seat in one of the office chairs available. He smiles at his little joke but he knows the joke falls flat and his smile is a farce. Merlin doesn’t move an inch, just stares at Eggsy with a look that he can’t decipher.

“Eggsy, I have watched you fight and fight without any breaks. For the past few months you have taken missions back to back with no regard for your own life. I was giving you time to work through your issues, but I’m sick of seeing you put yourself in danger. I’m ordering two weeks leave.”

Eggsy made an abortive motion with his hands.

“No, shut your mouth. You will follow this order or you will be suspended from Kingsman indefinitely.”

During his speech Merlin had pulled his glasses off and was now pinching the bridge of his nose. Eggsy cannot believe what he is hearing. He can’t have two weeks off. He will go insane. The missions are the only things that keep him alive and breathing. Without them, Eggsy is scared he will be pulled over the edge of the abyss never to see the light again. Turning on his heel, he strides angrily towards the door.

“Eggsy.” He turns his head to glance back at Merlin.

“Harry would be proud of what you’ve done. Take this time to reconnect with your family. Family is what gets you through hard times, not bullets and missions.”

Eyes blinded by tears Eggsy nods before slipping out the door quietly. Watching the boy leave, Merlin breathes heavily as he leans back in his chair. Feeling the air shift, he tenses.

ooOoo

“I wish you would gather your courage and agree to be reinstated as Arthur. This shit is getting old. I miss my computers and gadgets.”

The man behind him walks around and takes the chair opposite that Eggsy just occupied. Merlin stares at his oldest friend and shakes his head.

“I know, Merlin. I just need to find the right time. Getting my memory back and going through physical therapy took longer than I thought. I want to come back. Let me tell Eggsy and then I’ll come back,” Harry said with appeasement.

Harry hart did not die from the gunshot wound to the head. In fact, it merely bruised the flesh and chipped a small piece of his skull. However, the swelling caused Harry to lose his memory for 2 months. After months of intense therapy he was finally ready to come back and take the helm of Kingsman. There was just one small problem. Eggsy.

“Well you’ve got two weeks to make that boy smile again or I will have to remove him from active service for a while. He has become too careless with his own life, Harry. You just saw the cluster-fuck he created. I refuse to lose another agent.” And with those final words Merlin settled his glasses back on his face and turned to the screen.

Taking his cue Harry left to figure out a way to tell Eggsy that he was alive, that he wanted a relationship, and that Eggsy was the most important person in his life. _Splendid_ , he thought to himself, _easy_.

ooOoo

He’s missed this. The routine of feeding Daisy, playing with her, bathing her, and the sweet ritual of bedtime. With four months of back-to-back missions, Eggsy’s half afraid she will have forgotten her older brother, but he had no reason to be worried. From the moment he stepped in the door she shouted “ ‘ggy! ‘ggy!” and toddled into his open arms. Kissing his mom on the cheek he ignores her inquiring look and settles onto the floor to play blocks.

Two weeks off isn’t such a bad thing, especially when your mum senses your need for solitude and offers to go on holiday for a week. Eggsy decides to give his mom a treat and urges her to take some friends and leave Daisy with him. Surprisingly she agrees and Daisy, Eggsy, JB, and the stuffed Mr. Pickles have the run of the house for twelve days. Daisy is the easiest, sweetest baby but not when she is teething.

Eggsy runs himself ragged in the middle of the week trying to make Daisy comfortable and alleviate some of the pain. Middle of the night warm baths, frozen cloths, he even tried rubbing brandy on her gums. They all helped but not for long periods of time. By Thursday he is dead tired and his mum wouldn’t be home for six more days. _How in the world does she do this?_ He asks himself as he jumps up and rushes to Daisy’s room with her shrieks echoing throughout Harry’s house.

ooOoo

Harry had planned on coming earlier in the week but Merlin had needed his input on a mission gone awry for Percival. Not really knowing any other way to break the news, Harry just wanted to show up and deal with the fall out. He knew Eggsy would be hurt and angry but at this point there were no other options. His heart was in his throat as he unlocked his door and stepped into chaos.

JB, hearing the door open, came tearing in from the kitchen, nails sliding along the floors. He barked fiercely for two seconds before he realized it was Harry. The he flopped down on the floor and rolled over onto his back for a belly rub. Chuckling, Harry crouched and tickled the silky fur. He was surprised Eggsy hadn’t appeared guns blazing as soon as JB barked but Harry quickly understood the reason why. Loud crying resounded over the entire house with the lower soothing timbre of Eggsy’s voice underlying the shrieks. Curious, Harry made his way up the stairs to the second floor, along the hallway to the second spare bedroom. If he thought his heart was unsteady before, the sight before him made it stop.

He knew Eggsy was divine in his street clothes and absolutely delicious in his suit but nothing could have prepared him for the sight of Eggsy in soft gray sleep pants with no shirt. So distracted by the strength of Eggsy’s back, and of course his ass, Harry at first did not notice the tiny red faced little girl drooling and gnawing on the bared shoulder. _Ahhh….now I understand_ , he thought. _The baby is teething and seems to be having a rough time of it._

Oblivious to the visitor in his borrowed home, Eggsy did his best to lull his sister back to sleep. Unfortunately, it wasn’t working.

“Come on now, luv. ‘ush now, give the meds some time to work, ya?” he crooned as he swayed in a figure eight pattern.

Poor Daisy looked at him with tear filled eyes and put her fist into her mouth to chew on vigorously. Thinking rocking and singing might soothe her, Eggsy carried her over to the rocker by the window. His back was still to Harry so he was not at all self-conscious as he began to sing.

_“Little child, be not afraid,_  
_though rain pounds harshly against the glass_  
_like an unwanted stranger, there is no danger,_  
_I am here tonight”*_

Harry was speechless as he watched his love rock a baby to sleep as he sang with a lovely, rich voice. Even though it was completely ungentlemanly of him, Harry was aroused by that silky voice caressing the lyrics like a lover. He could easily imagine Eggsy with their own child one day singing them to sleep as Harry watched over his family proudly. _Ugh_ , he thought, _going a little fast there, old man. You’ve got to ask Eggsy first._

ooOoo

Eggsy was relieved that her favorite song seemed to be settling Daisy into a restful slumber. Though he was exhausted he cherished these times with his sister. They anchored him to the world in a way that missions never could. During his time with Daisy he did not obsess over the absence of Harry, though it was a continuous ache. He was able to focus on the joy of her laughter, the simplicity of taking a stroll through the park, and the relaxing nature of an afternoon nap. He realized now that Merlin was doing him a huge favor by suspending him. He might have lasted another month or two, tops, but he eventually would have made a mistake that took his life. With Daisy’s head nuzzled into his jaw he never wanted to be in that frame of mind again. He had a family that depended on him.

After a solid ten minutes of nothing but cute snuffles, Eggsy carefully lifted Daisy higher and slowly moved to her crib. Leaning down he covered her gently with the fuzzy green blanket and kissed her blonde curls before turning around to face the doorway.

_I’m hallucinating_ , he thought. _I have finally gone stark ravin’ mad. Merlin’s gonna hafta lock me up for this. Ah, shit. What’s mum gonna think?_

ooOoo

Harry, waiting for Eggsy to say something, became concerned after slow, silent minutes dragged by. Taking a step backwards he motioned for Eggsy to follow him down to the kitchen. Not knowing what else to do, Eggsy followed the ghost Harry.

Once in the kitchen Harry pulled down two short glasses and his bottle of vodka. Seeking permission he waited until Eggsy nodded before pouring two generous portions.

“Eggsy, I know this is going to be hard. I know you are hurt and angry. Please, what are you thinking?” he began.

Eggsy stared for the longest time before tossing back the drink and slamming the glass back on to the table. He stormed into the living room and threw himself onto the couch. Harry silently followed and sat down beside him.

“Are ya truly here ‘Arry? I can’t take much more,” he choked up before he could finish but it didn’t matter because Harry had grabbed his hand and was stroking the palm with his fingers.

“I’m _alive,_ Eggsy. Valentine was a lousy shot and did not do much damage. I was in a coma for a couple of weeks and then had some serious amnesia, but otherwise I was unharmed. Merlin allowed me ample time to recover memories and get back into fighting shape while he took charge of Kingsman. ”

Eggsy suddenly became fiercely angry that Harry had been alive for _fuckin’ months_ and no one had thought it necessary to tell him. He jerked his hand away from Harry and began to pace back and forth.

“I can’t _believe_ you! I was heartbroken ‘Arry. I thought I had lost you forever. I kept thinkin’ if I had just shot the bleedin’ dog you wouldn’a gone off angry. You wanker!”

After his tirade Eggsy collapsed into the chair and covered his face with his hands. Harry could see his shoulders shaking with his sobs and he couldn’t take it anymore. Scooting over he lifted Eggsy and slid underneath him, settling Eggsy back down and cradling him in his lap.

Brushing his lips over Eggsy’s hands he murmured, “Oh love, I am so sorry for the pain I’ve caused you. We weren’t sure if it was safe for it to be known that I was alive and unfortunately we had to keep you in the dark. I _wanted_ to be by your side as soon as I regained my memories but I couldn’t. What kept me going for the months of therapy, physical and mental, was your smiling face and the promise of a life with you.”

Eggsy lifted his head and said, “What did you call me?”

ooOoo

Sheepishly Harry looked into those bedroom eyes and stammered, “l-l-love? I know this isn’t ideal but I don’t want to live one more moment without you knowing how I feel.”

“And exactly ‘ow do you feel, ‘Arry?”

“You make me want to get up and face the day, Eggsy. I was your mentor at first, yes, but as I got to know you and see the true Eggsy…well let’s just say you have owned my heart ever since. When I was staring at that gun all I could think about was your gorgeous eyes and the fact that we had parted in anger. I knew then that I would do anything in my power to come back to you. Eggsy, I love y—oomph!”

Harry couldn’t talk because Eggsy had sealed his lips to Harry and had no intention of separating any time soon. Of course, Harry certainly wasn’t complaining. A long time later Eggsy leaned back and smoothed Harry’s mussed hair into place. Tracing the lips that he now had the privilege of kissing whenever he wanted, he grinned.

“I love you too ‘Arry. Always.”

ooOoo

In her crib upstairs, Daisy smiled as she rolled over in her sleep.Yes, lullabies _do_ help those in pain.

ooOoo

The End

**Author's Note:**

> * Lyrics are from Vienna Teng's "Lullaby for a Stormy Night"


End file.
